50 days ago, I was at the height of my post Tony depression. 50 days ago I was grieving the loss of an important friendship along with several smaller relationships. 50 days ago my entire life seemed to have lost all of its momentum and I was questioning everything. Then I saw this infomercial and I remember sitting in my bed feeling the tiniest spark of hope reigniting, my drive being relit. Yes, I have weight issues and I was definitely loving the changes I saw in the bodies of these people who tried the program, and no I never bought the program, and no this isn’t a weight loss post. What I took away from that infomercial that night, was just how much you could change your life in just 50 days if you focused and gave it your all.
I had 55 days from that point until New Year’s Eve and though I’ve never been big on new year’s resolutions (despite one of my first novels having that title lol) I knew that this new year's eve and new year were going to be pivotal in my life journey. I’d been told that by my guides last new year’s eve and though there was a part of me that was so ready to give up and say fuck it, I’ll pick it all up next February or something, I couldn’t.
I determined then and there, that I was going to finish this year that had been a battle of ups and downs, relationship drama and woes, happiness, heartache and stress that had all beaten me down to my lowest point since starting my new life, I was going to end this year strong. I was going to change the energy of my life and soar into 2014 no matter what it took.
The next day
I took my son to CiCi’s pizza and had a battle meeting. I spread out all my notebooks and calendars and I got down to work planning my new year and what I needed to do in the next 50 days to give me the best shot of that new year.
I was back, or at least very close to back and the 50 Day Challenge was born!
I took on the two things my guides had been bringing to me for years at that point, writing and weight loss and I determined to punch through the walls and never look back.
Trying and failing at these two areas of my life have beaten me down to the point I started to think they were going to defeat me. The 50 day challenge was going to be my last shot. I was going to hyper focus, pool all my strength, and bust through this come hell or high water.
I knew I needed to lose weight and write more books, but no matter how hard I tried at both, I kept failing at both. More, writing had become such a chore, nothing I wrote, did I like and I was beginning to think my dream of being a successful writer was just not ever going to be within my grasp. With weight, I’d go back and forth, get all motivated and excited, lose some weight, then life would interfere and I’d sit at a standstill for weeks or months not losing anything other than my desire to lose the weight at all.
When I started the challenge, I listed pounds I wanted to lose, and books I wanted to write and I intended to kill myself accomplishing both. I dropped everything else and just focused on my career and my weight. Every meditation became about these things as I sought guidance. I had to believe I could do this, I absolutely had to make this work no matter what, it was my last shot.
Then slowly, every day I started to write again. And slowly, every day, I was losing weight. It was very exciting just at that point, but what happened next was so above and beyond simply turning out books and losing weight and it changed me eternally.
What I did not consider when I started all this was that rather than having a half dozen books written and 20 or so pounds dropped, I’d have my whole life opened up by receiving absolute clarity that changes everything for me.
In one week I had so many spiritual revelations that my entire view of myself changed. I realized writing and weight loss weren’t about pounds and books at all. The message from my guides over writing and weight loss was about fixing my decades old eating disorders and recapturing my love for creating stories.
You can read more about the specifics of these revelations in a post I wrote last month that you can find at this link, but today, as it is the last official day of the challenge, I wanted to recap my results. For the surface stuff, I lost twenty seven pounds… and yes I am psyched!
In books, that was a bit of a mix. I did write one new Grace Anthony story, which was the first book I wrote, completed and published all year so it was a pretty big deal for me. It help rebuild my confidence in myself and reminded me how much I love writing.
Beyond the surface, what I’ve seen happen in my writing since this challenge begin is that my self-published sales are doubling every month, I have gained absolute clarity about my beloved Starlight Key and am SO close to having a complete season of a new serial, The Throne of Grey, ready to be revealed! I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this excited about a project, and it’s excitement that comes from the confidence that I am writing exactly what I want to write, no self-censoring, no fears or concerns about who’ll publish it or who’ll read it. I’m turning out something remarkable and it will find readers of that I no longer have any doubts. I’ve solidified in myself that I am a writer, that I love it and that I’m good at it. This is my career and I’m so excited about a lifetime of stories I get to share with the world.
With food, I don’t know what else to say other than that my food issues are simply gone.
I’ve gone through three really severe tests where money and food were nonexistent and I didn’t react to that in any of my old patterns. God provided and no matter what it was or how small, I ate and I ate healthy keeping Raphael’s food list in mind. I didn’t go for the junk or the cheap. I decided that if my guide had given me a list of foods to eat then they’d provide them and if they didn’t, I wouldn’t eat. I stayed in faith and trusted god and walked the path I was given no matter what and at the end of this challenge, I can say to you without any doubt whatsoever, food is no longer my Achilles’ heel.
Beyond just those two things though, I also internalized the lessons of Tony, the concept of true surrender to god and the universe. I solidified my dreams and desires and breathed new life into ones I was starting to let go of. The 50 day challenge for me was positively life changing and I’m doing it again starting on the 10th of January.
In the end, I did exactly as I set out to do, I am ending 2013 in as strong a place as I’ve ever been in and, as I keep saying, 2014 is going to be the best year of my life to date! After the past 50 days, I am more certain of that than ever!
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